Humility

This has to be said.

You've just joined a gym for whatever reason. Maybe a buddy talked you into it. Maybe you've finally had enough with being not in the shape you want to. Maybe you have an end date (trip, wedding etc.) and you need to look your best!

So, you've been working out for a little bit, and you're starting to get some results. you start noticing things tightening up, your weight going down (or up, depending on the goal), you're losing some fat, building some muscle, getting stronger, etc.

A couple people start to tell you that you're looking good! You're doing great! They can tell you've been "working out"!

Awesome! That is very good that people are telling you this, and that your work is paying off. Accept the comment with grace and humility.

Know what isn't awesome? conceit.

"Yeah, I've lost so much fat I look amazing!"
"I've gained 15 lbs of muscle in a month! I should do a bodybuilding show!"
"I cannot believe how ripped I am, all the girls love me!"
"Boys think I'm so hot now, it's insane!"

girls, how many times has a guy picked you up by telling you he can bench press 300+ lbs?
guys, how many times has a girl picked you up by telling you they ran at 9 KMH for an hour on the treadmill?

Let your results do all the talking. ALL of the talking.

Know how there is always the embarrassing photos of girls with their muffin tops hanging out?
Know the guy wearing too tight of a shirt so his gut pokes out?

This is the EXACT verbal equivalent.

I hate to break it to you, but people don't want to hear it. They really, really, really, really don't.

Let them do the talking for you. Let someone who cares tell you that you look great and they notice.
Let someone in the gym tell you they've noticed results from the hard work you've put in. Let the co-worker congratulate you.

Don't congratulate yourself too much.

I see this time, and time, and time and time and time and...

You get the point.

I assess myself. Of course. I look in the mirror, see where I think there is progress, and I have my coach to give me feedback too.

Keep those opinions to yourself. If you're doing great, others will take notice and tell you.

Here's another catch: There is always someone out there, somehow in better shape (running, body, strength etc) than you.

There is always someone out there in better shape than you who ISN'T parading their results around like they've won an Oscar.

I'm not trying to take away you're successes, especially valid successes. Even little ones, like giving up that junk food you thought you never could, doing a squat with your own body weight, or even making it up a flight of stairs without needing to stop to catch your breath.

Want to know how I know this?

I was that guy. I thought I was huge. Thought I was so muscular and that everyone loved how I looked.

I had a real close friend who had not seen me in a while tell me I was fat. Not big.

Think I learned? Nope.

So I leaned down. Thought I was ripped. Thought I was shredded.

Same friend looked at me and told me I was skinny.

Me parading around me "results" and "hard work" was really all for nothing, and the results weren't even worth bragging about.

This is what happens in most cases from what I've seen. The people with the least results brag the most, and the ones with the greatest results don't brag at all.

Take my advice from someone who has been there:

Let the results do the talking. Adopt Humility.

Free Advice...

Free advice is never adhered.

I heard this once, and for the most part, I believe it.

For some reason, when people pay large amounts of money, they either seem to think the product they're getting is good, or better than a free product.

I have been asked questions in the gym, questions from the blog, and questions on my facebook page. Depending on the depth of the question, I'll generally answer it. If someone whom isn't a client asks for a "specific to them" question, chances are I won't.

Why is this?

People don't listen to free advice.

Then why ask?

They're looking for reaffirmation of their original answer, whichever it may be.

"Should I buy the red shirt, or the blue shirt?"
The person will already know which shirt they want you to say. Chances are they'll pick the shirt they want anyway with your input.

This is not being arrogant, or being "all about the money"

I had a client tell me recently "You can't help fix everyone Marty, but take pride in those you do!"

And I need to be reminded of this time and time again. Those who pay are more willing to listen. For one reason or another, they've wound up using my coaching services, and these are the people who I have to give all of my attention to. The ones who want it.

Where am I going with this?

This is directed a lot towards other trainers and other professionals, and they'll understand when they read it, or even made the same mistakes I have.

Recently, I got screwed out of quite a bit of money. Roughly 8 weeks of nutrition coaching, and some training sessions on top of that. Why? Because I once again believed someone when they said they'd pay me later.

Ring a bell?

This is my own fault, I admit it. I should have learned this 4 years ago when it was happening too often. Me being the nice guy, saying "no problem! I'll catch ya next time" and next time never comes.

I'm also trying to say to people out there that when you ask a specific question, or have a LOT of questions, maybe you should look into hiring a coach (MEEEE!)

This service should be invaluable if the coach is worth their salt. Some coaches are expensive for good reason, some not. Some are cheap for good reason, others are not (yes, I've seen GREAT coaches undersell themselves).

We in the fitness industry who put in time and research into what we do will more often than not give responses you don't want to hear to questions. It's not that we're trying to be different, we're trying to be right and give you correct resources. There is a TON of confusing information out there about simple questions.

When should I have carbs?
How much protein should I eat?
How much cardio do I need to do?
How many days should I work out?
How long before I see results?
Why hasn't my weight gone down?
How did you get so handsome?

And so on and so forth.

The ones who seem to get "mad" or rant are seriously the ones that care. Just like me writing this blog, I care. I believe the general population has been screwed over by society, media, beauty magazines, and a lot of other mediums.

The next time someone says "Maybe you should make an appt" or "I'm sorry that's too specific a question to answer quickly", maybe don't shrug them off as rude, a jerk, or "all about the money"

Would you fix someone's car for free?
would you build a deck for someone for free?

I'll give you a free estimate (hence the apt. I ALWAYS give free 30 minute consults, and ALWAYS will) but I won't do the work for free.

I still, as always, encourage general questions. I'll always do that too. But specifics? You need a qualified coach then. You really do.